The Good, The Bad and The Ugly....but hey...I'm getting O.U.T.

My creatine is down to 3 something today. The renal doc on call this weekend came in to tell me that tomorrow they're taking out the port for dialysis and I can go home!!! I know all things are subject to change but I am SO ready to get out of here.

One thing I'm looking forward to is filling out the survey that the hospital will mail to me. We'll start with "The Good".

On the positive side....

1. My physician care has been superior with the exception of the doctor who was in the ER who admitted me. He's kind of a jerk and from what I gather doesn't have much respect from the rest of the physicians I've been dealing with.

2. Excellent care in dialysis.

3. A very comfortable air bed.

4. Attentive and caring nurses and patient care techs. One little thing though...men PCT's just don't make me feel too comfortable. I'd rather have a woman...just me.

5. A decent selection of free movies and TV viewing.

6. A cot for my loved ones.

7. Pretty decent food...except for cholesterol free eggs. Why bother even eating an egg if it has to taste like that? D.I.S.G.U.S.T.I.N.G. I just don't see how that little bit of egg yolk could have hurt me.

8. Getting my chest x-rayed right in my bed. That was a treat.

9. The nurse who put in the PICC line. Super good, super fast and right on the money.

Now for "The Bad".

I have a few suggestions to improve patient care.

Here are some of the highlights...

1. Do not wake people up at 5:30 a.m. to weigh them...especially since they're laying in a bed that will weigh them without disturbing them! Just push the freakin' button and weigh the person. Oh and do you really need to take away my pillows that weigh about 8 ounces? Is my weight that critical?

2. When you send someone in to take my blood why don't you have them just do the blood pressure, temperature, oxygen level, blood glucose and weight at the same time? Do I really need to have a different person come in to do each thing? It's like a parade of people in here beginning at 5:30 or 6 a.m. every day.

3. How about changing the sheets every day?

4. Whoever put in the toilet paper dispensers has obviously NEVER had to sit on any of your toilets and tried to get to the toilet paper. Reaching to your right and behind you is NOT a convenient place for the toilet paper. This is a pet peeve of mine since I used to put up these dispensers when I sold janitorial supplies.

5. Also...if you're measuring my urine output and you see that I'm making more urine...you need to empty the thing regularly. I do not want my urine overflowing while I'm using the facilities. EW!

And for "The UGLY".

1. This hospital was originally built in 1972. I am in the oldest section. The flooring in the bathroom is separating from the wall and is molded. Shouldn't a hospital bathroom be clean and pretty?

2. The toilet, well the whole bathroom, is not handicapped accessible. The first time I tried to sit on it I thought I was going to end up on the floor. Then I couldn't get off of it. They brought me a commode to put over the toilet but the bathroom is the size of a postage stamp so it's cramped in there.

3. Not a walk in shower...it's a regular bathtub and very small. The shower head hits you right on your chest.

4. The transition from the hard tile to carpet is about 12 inches from my room and every cart, bed, tray that comes down the hall has to be pushed across this threshold at such a high rate of speed and makes such a huge crashing noise that you think something has overturned every time they come down the hall.

Overall I have been VERY satisfied with my 2 week stint here in the hospital.

I was just asking my mom how much she thought this would all cost. She's thinking $300k. We shall see. I already have a stack of statements from the first 2 hospital visits that are about 2 inches thick...that is NOT a joke either.

If you have any guesses for the bill feel free to post your best guess.