I've never been fond of tunnels. I remember when I was young and growing up in New York. When we would go to Manhattan we either had to take a bridge or a tunnel to get into the city. From Queens we used the Mid-town Tunnel. I hated being in this confined space with cars whizzing past going in the opposite direction. (I don't know if you travel in opposite directions in the same tube any more but you used to) There were lights in the tunnel but something about knowing that I was 100 feet under the Hudson River and having my ears popping as we descended into the tunnel bothered me. It also freaked me out to see water dripping down the walls of the tunnel. The worst was when we had to go to New Jersey and go through the Holland Tunnel. It's 2000 feet longer than the Midtown Tunnel.
I always felt better as we would ascend out of the tunnel and you could really see "the light at the end of the tunnel". I could literally breathe a sigh of relief when we got out into the light. As an adult I still hate driving through a tunnel. Maybe that's why I found it so difficult to deal with "Mystery Illness" in the beginning. I was impatient and just wanted out!
Ten months have come and gone since I contracted whatever virus it is that started the one and only health crisis I've ever had. In the beginning I really couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was in too much pain, my health declined too quickly, doctors didn't know what to do for me and it was really frightening.
Today I had another follow up with my rheumatologist. I've lost 22 pounds since I last saw her at the end of August and since getting off of Prednisone. It's a good feeling. My joints, although stiff sometimes in the morning, generally feel fine. I do notice that it's still not very easy for me to get up off of the floor if I get down to scrub something or even when I was playing with my baby granddaughter. Sometimes my tailbone aches after sitting too long but after what happened to me earlier this year those are minor issues.
I do have to have my eyes checked and have an x-ray of the node on my finger and probably have it removed. I'll get my eyes checked but as for the node/cyst....that will have to wait until after the holidays. I'm in need of a working finger till then! A
I'm not a believer in the saying that "all good things must come to an end". I'm not sure I believe that. I believe that love can last forever, that you can be happy forever, and that "good" things are often a matter of your opinion. I do, however, believe that all crappy things come to an end. If you're mentally healthy you don't grieve forever, stay mad forever, hold grudges forever, and unless you're going to die you don't stay sick forever. Eventually you get better. I am getting better. The light at the end of the tunnel isn't attached to a train!
