I Am Not My Body

I thought it was time to update my health blog.

I last saw Dr. Kazi on April 22 and a few days later he called to tell me that my blood work was mostly normal. My SED rate was slightly elevated which indicated inflammation in my body but that wasn't anything out of the ordinary considering my inflammatory arthritic issues since becoming sick in December.

By the time I'd seen Dr. Kazi I had been off of the Prednisone for about 2 weeks give or take a few days. I wasn't really feeling bad but I wasn't feeling great. Then another 10 days passed and I began to have a lot of pain and swelling in my knees, ankles, shoulders, hands and wrists. It was discouraging to say the least because more than anything I want my body to cooperate and just be "normal".

Dr. Kazi was kind enough to give me his personal and professional e-mail addresses so I sent him a message telling him of my pain. He replied right away and said that I should go back on 5mg of Prednisone and that we would probably add something called hydroxychloroquine in a few weeks.

Hydroxychloroquine, brand name Plaquenil, is an older medication used in the treatment to prevent malaria. That's right, the disease that is spread by mosquitos. For some reason, this drug also helps reduce swelling in the joints of people with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I wonder what person with RA went on safari, took this drug and realized that their joints didn't hurt after they took it?

Anyway...after being on the 5mg of Prednisone for a week it really wasn't doing much for me at all and the pain in my joints was so bad at night that I had trouble getting up the stairs again and I needed to take a hydrocodone in order to sleep at night.

Another e-mail to my beloved Dr. Kazi, 10 mg of Prednisone and 400 mg of Plaquenil later and things are starting to improve. I'm sure the idea is to give the Plaquenil some time to work (it takes 2-3 months in order to feel the full effect) and then to get off the Prednisone again.

As I was going through this particular period I saw the following video posted on my church's website.

This woman is clearly an inspiration. Although I have not been disfigured by this illness the way she has been in her accident, I can relate to her feelings of looking in the mirror and not seeing what she expects. Everyday as I look in the mirror I can see that my hair is continuing to fall out, the scars from my dialysis ports and PICC lines and I can see how my body has aged in these last 6 months.

At one point she says, "I am not my body." and that has had an impact on me on many levels. A person's spirit is who they are. The physical house of your spirit is not who you are. I'm blessed to be able to walk and talk and care for my family and enjoy sunsets and cool breezes. I'm blessed beyond description.

Enjoy this video and I hope it inspires you as much as it inspired me.